Peter Hirschberg

Friday, October 9, 2009


In a clear escalation of hostilities, today the earth launched a withering attack on the Moon. Several rockets were seen fired at installations on the ground, and rising plumes of smoke were visible for thousands of miles.

Tensions between the earth and the moon have waxed and waned over the past month, but today's attack was a definitive preemptive strike against the small breakaway celestial body.

A spokesperson for the Earth said that today's preemptive attack on the Moon was successful. "All their base are belong to us. They have no chance".

The U.N. has spoken out against the attack and has expressed concern over the humanitarian conditions on the Moon, which it called "inhospitable". "Our concern is that these needless attacks on the Moon will quickly turn the area into an empty and desolate cratered wasteland.", a representative for the U.N. said.

Experts worry that a wave of reprisal attacks could cause a ripple effect felt across the entire planet.